Weido gets an evacuation notice, not an eviction notice.
$7 Standing room only tickets = front row Crawford Box seats.
Brandon Moss was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Vests are lame.
Puma paws are fun.
Barta is not at weeble. He wobbles, and he does fall down.
Everyone loves Mo's. Except my flip flops.
If I HAVE to, I can support the weight of my drunk brother, but I will take embarrassing pictures of him passed the f..k out with his baby blanket on our parent's couch.
If the power goes out, car radios + iPod + Heights Dr.= dance party.
My parents are far more 'cool' than I could ever hope to be.
Pine trees are STRONG.
Chocolate chip cookies are the only thing anyone wants in an emergency situation. Ever. Period.
Do not climb on the boat.
Do not yell at passing cars; it may be a cop.
Mark Weido can throw a spiral in a hurricane.
There are three kinds of black labs.
Ike is Swedish.
I kick ass at random-ass sports trivia, but don't have the patience to learn the rules to play the game "Life".
Toothpaste is not on everyone's Hurricane Survival Checklist.
Milwaukee = Astros "home" game (?!?!?!?) = goodbye wild card.
Me + My brother will kick your ass in a candle-lit game of Taboo. I take that back, we'll kick your ass in any kind of lit game of taboo. Bitches.
Baby squirrels do not agree with milk. Hypothetically, of course.
Baby squirrels are suicidal.
KPD will not transport you to Harris Co if someone cries about driving downtown in post hurricane conditions.
"Paraphernalia" is the hardest word in the English language to pronounce.
It takes 7 ATMs and heavy guilt trips to gather enough cash to bail loved one out of jail in post hurricane conditions.
I love the term "Post Hurricane Conditions".
I still don't know what a volcano taco is.