Thursday, November 1, 2012

Are my Neighbors Immortal?

I found this saved as a draft, but never published. 
 September 25, 2010.  

Every month my Community Association distributes a sad clip-art laden newsletter. When I see the green magazine in my mailbox, I immediately flip to the classified ads. I like to create scenarios to explain the weird shit that my crazy-ass neighbors are pedaling.

Last month there was an ad for a cemetery plot. This bothered me for days... why would someone sell a cemetery plot? Maybe they decided to have their remains cremated. Maybe they were recently married and their spouse had already made arrangements to be buried elsewhere. Maybe they were given a second plot as a gift. Google suggests that people hit by the recession have turned to selling their plots to supplement their income. Maybe they've found the fountain of youth and become immortal.

I still find a community newsletter an odd choice to try to unload a cemetery plot... there must be a better place to advertise this than nestled in between a Treadmill and Ikea dining room set. Also, who buys a cemetery plot from a community newsletter?

So, when I checked my mail this afternoon and saw the newsletter I flipped directly to the Classifieds to see if the item had been re-listed or if one of my other crazy neighbors actually purchased it.

  • Engagement ring
  • China place settings
  • Cemetery plot!
  • Child's wheelchair & dirt bike (wait, what?)
  • Cemetery plot! 
  • Used piano 
  • Cemetery plot!

THREE of my neighbors are now selling their funeral plots... I'm tempted to call and ask some questions.


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