How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

I'm pumped full of coffee and feel like I should blog. I don't know if anything good will come of it, but I'm going for it anyway.

I know I promised not to talk about the puppy, but I'm breaking that promise to say this: She's being a little butt. 98% of the time she is well behaved and adorable. 2% of the time she is OUT OF CONTROL. Read about it here. Also, she's growing so fast! She's all legs, she looks like an AT-AT Walker. (google it, non-geeks)

The lady I had the interview with last week called me this morning to offer me the job... a week later. I thanked her very much for the opportunity (to call the health department and have her shut down), but declined. She didn't understand. "Why? Did you get another job?" Yes, ma'am. "Don't you think you should have called and let me know?"

"I'm sorry, you said you would call me on Monday with a decision, when I didn't hear from you, I took it as an indication that you had filled the position."

"Well, thanks a lot. You've really put me in a bind here with your inconsideration."

Ok, fuck the high road, I'm done playing nice with this crazy person. "Ma'am, the truth is, I didn't accept another job offer. It's just, with all due respect, I do not feel like I would be a good fit for your establishment."

"This is a really easy job. A monkey could do it. I will train you." If I'm not going to use the high road, I might as well burn the bridge to it. "What?!? No, ma'am. Did you read my resume? Do you remember our interview? I know I am more than qualified for this position. I've managed places that brought in $70,000 weekly. No offense, but I doubt you'll see those numbers annually. Thank you for your time and good luck." I hang up.

WTF? I get up to refill my coffee and my phone rings. You have GOT to be kidding me. At this point all the other things I could have said are running through my head and I'm half tempted to answer and go at it again with her... but, I decide against it. I really wish she had left a voicemail so I could share it.

I hope that lady finds her monkey, I think it would be great friends with her rabbit.