What I've been doing for the past 30 days in pictures:

(Click on pictures to enlarge)


Viva Las Vegas!
I was lucky enough to be able to celebrate one of my best friend's birthday with him in Las Vegas this March. Even though Scott had invited me in back in December, I had forgotten (damn you, alcohols) and it was a last minute trip. I booked the flight three days before the trip with help from an old Coex coworker and the most expensive SWA flight I've ever taken. But, I love my Catfish and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Because there isn't enough going on in Vegas, we created a new game called "Vegas Slugbug". It basically involved picking a tourist sterotype a day (Nascar jackets, hawaiian shirt, etc) and punching the snot out of your friends if you're the first one to spot an infraction. Unless you're me. Then you squeal and point and get punched on both arms by your friends.

The Bar & Niteclub convention was also in town, so we took advantage of that and went to the Flair competetion and drank free (nasty) 3 Olives Vodka. Seriously, grape flavored vodka? They're just doing it wrong.

Johnson Wedding/Rhondy & Brother Visit Weekend
I was already BFFs with Sarah when Ben was born, so I've literally known him his whole life. I remember him crawling around our house in his little Superman onesie, so it was amazing to see him all grown up standing at the alter.

The best part about my brother coming into town is getting together with all of his friends. The worst part about my brother coming to town is that I always gain about 10 pounds from all the food and booze. As an added bonus, Rhondy was also in town for a different wedding, so I got to spend time with her, too!





Seattle

Seattle has been on my short list of US cities that I really want to visit but haven't for years. One of my other best friends Robin lives up there and when I saw that SWA was running a "Super Seattle Sale", I called her immediately to invite myself up for a visit. I flew up during her Spring Break (Woooo!) and thus began Robin & Ceci's Northwest Adventure.

Robin is the best tour guide ever! She points out everything, things I didn't even know to look for. Like hot dogs with cream cheese. Don't knock it till you try it. They. Are. Amazing.

I got to meet Oscar, the cutest weiner/chihuahua mix EVER, and some of Robin's awesome friends. We had an early morning fire drill, saw the Deadliest Catch boat, Space Needle, met Sammy Drain, and did I mention hot dogs with cream cheese?

Also, I got to catch up with two of my Houston friends! My friend Jana lives in Ballard and a few days later we met up with Jeff, who was randomly driving through Ellensburg while I was there. Small world, huh?

















Opening Day(s)!

You all know I'm somewhat of an Astros fanatic, so I shouldn't have to tell you how ridiculously excited I was for Opening Day. So exited that we showed up at Minute Maid Park about 8 hours before the game.

After the Opening Day festivites we waited in line and were the first to enter... and I was the first to pee! The game didn't go very well, but we had fun because we are champions.


Oh, and I met Paul Wall. Does anyone know who he is?

Frequent Flier Miles at the Bar?!?

I know I've talked a whole mess of shit about Southwest Airlines in the past, mainly about their boarding process, calling them Greyhound with wings. If you're unfamiliar with SWA, their boarding procedure used to be a free for all. They don't assign seats to passengers. You weren't able to check in until you arrived at the gate, and when they announced boarding and the jetway was bombarded by idiots thinking if they boarded first it would somehow make them better than the other 200 passengers going to the same damn place. It was just a huge mess.

They must read my blog, because they completely changed their boarding process, allowing passengers to check-in on line 24 hours in advance (like all other airlines) and they created 'boarding groups' eliminating the mass rush to the jetway. It completely changed the whole SWA experience. So, I gave them another chance, signed up for their "Rapid Rewards Program" and flew about 10 times with them last year.

I told you that to tell you this: They just introduced a new branch of their Rapid Rewards Program just for people like me that don't want to get a SWA Credit Card, but would still like to earn points for spending money on things other than SWA flights. It's the Rapid Rewards Dining program, where you register your credit/debit cards and earn 1/4 of a point for every $100 you spend at quailifying restaurants, bars, and clubs.

I know what you're thinking, 1/4 of a point? Laaaame. Well, here's where you're wrong. It only takes 16 points to get a free flight. The program is still fairly new, so new establishments are being added frequently. They just added Stars, not my favorite bar, but I'll go there for free flight credits. I'm going there tonight to watch the UT game.

If they add Los Cucos and Einsteins, I'd have free flights for life.

Denver

Back to the drawing board

Jay has informed me that Doogie Howser is gay. I guess I won't be stalking him after all.

So, I'm going to miss the employee holiday party. I'm 75% relieved 25% curious/bummed. But, I think it really is for the better... I don't need to over do it and make an ass of myself in front of the hourlies. Plus, I'm going down to H-Tizz for Jacey's party... so really I'm 95% excited and 5% curious.

Does a Body Good

So, I popped into Kroger on the way home from work tonight and the expiration date on the "milk flavored water" (skim) that I bought is December 1.

Hoh. Lee. Shit!

I haven't even started shopping yet, and that's not a good thing. I always stress myself out about giving "good" gifts that it takes me months to decide on something. Except last year when I was flying 6 days a week and had no time... and this year is going to be kinda hard to shop for my brother because whatever I get him will have to be shipped because he's too important to come spend a weekend with his family. No, I'm not upset, why do you ask?

Speaking of family... I'm really starting to miss Houston. Probably because I just got off the phone with Jay Diddy and just got invited to a party I probably won't be able to attend by Jacey. I never thought I would want to move home so soon, I think it's been 4 years since I've lived in Katy/Houston...? I thought I'd want to go live more exotic places before throwing in the homesick towel. Although, technically one flight attendant year is equivalent to 7 indigenous years. So, there ya go. Wait. I'm thinking of dogs, aren't I? Regardless, it's gotta count for something. All the while I've been thinking about moving home, my parents are thinking about getting out of Dodge. WTF?

I still have a couple of months to decide where I'm going to go next, but now would be a good time start giving input. But, really... I'd love to go be an Astros groupie while I still have my looks... and at my age... the sooner the better. YaknowwhatImsayin?

Safety first

I flew roundtrip last weekend and must say I am not impressed with TSA at Hobby. I somehow managed to get through security with two lighters and a good deal of liquids/gels in my purse. I had intended to give the lighters to my dad in the car on the way to the airport, the liquid/gels were in a ziplock bag, but I didn't take the bag out of my purse.

I also noticed the the FAs on both flights failed to do half of their takeoff/arrival checklist. Makes you wonder what else they "forgot".

Leaving Houston

I've been to Houston/Katy twice in the past 30 days (give or take) and it gets harder to leave every time. I'm really sick of being so far away from my friends and family. Of course going to two of the best parties EVER a month apart is probably isn't fair and is escalating the feeling that my life in Dallas is boring and I've become obsessed with work to fill the void. I know it wouldn't be crazy parties surrounded by friends and family every weekend if I moved back, but it wouldn't be laundry and netflix alone every night either. I like my job, but I never thought it would be the most important thing in my life.

I'd rather be surrounded by friends with a mediocre job than bored with a decent one. Ok, maybe I'm being a tad dramatic, I guess I'm also not looking forward to spending Thanksgiving away from my family and then my brother not coming home for Christmas.

I sooo typed this on Friday...

So, I was supposed to be on a 9:30am flight this morning which would have been fine if I hadn't overslept and woke up at 9am. Somehow, I jumped in the shower, finished packing and was on a flight to Houston at 11:30am. Yeah, I'm that awesome.

I got the full search, swabbed for explosives and pat down by a very nice lady. I guess walking up to to the ticket counter and paying cash for the next available flight will raise a red flag or two.

By two o'clock I was having a beer with Goo and by five o'clock we had hit every shoe store in the mall and I was on my way to the wedding rehearsal.

I am now obsessed with watching people play Bioshock. I think that's the name of it. Under water zombies and heroin. Best. Game. Ever.

So much depends on the weather

We're lucky we made it in! DFW and Loooooove are cloooooosed! (very bumpy and nice light show going over) Apparently, Houston was closed for a while, but reopened. We landed and as soon as we parked, the rain came DOWN. San Antonio is out of control... the hotels are already at capacity due to the Alamo Bowl tomorrow (Iowa and UT, baby!) and they had an Air France Big Bad Mamma Jamma divert here... that's about 300 hundred people... on top of several other 200+ capacity jets we saw parked randomly on the tarmac. They're sending the passengers to high schools and emergency shelters! Can you imagine coming back from France, thinking you're going to Dallas to go to home, or connect home... then diverting to San Antonio and sleeping in a high school gym? Hopefully they hit duty free and can drink themselves into a good night. Or a bonne nuit, as those French froggy bastards might say.

Glad we don't have to be there bright and earlier to watch that catastrophe unfold.

I can't believe you peed in the parking lot of Good Times

Week in review:

Drove to Austin Saturday night to see my Rhondy! Rhondy and I got some alone time before meeting her friends for her Birthday party and had dinner at Champions where we sang along (loudly) to the Queen ringtone of the guy who didn't like to answer his phone at the next table. From our table, and without acknowledgement, we also joined their conversation about Buzzard Preservation. (We're Pro-Buzzard) This is before we started drinking.

Enter Sixth street, a magical land where pretty ladies are corralled into bars for free shots. The smoking ban doesn't bother me in Austin because you spend as much time outside deciding which bar you're going to next as you do actually in the bars. At least it doesn't bother me now, last summer when it was a hundred and ten degrees at midnight, it was unacceptable. A few of the bars seemed desperate enough to keep people in to buy another drink that they let us dirty degenerate smokers light up. Cue Iron Maiden. "Breakin' the law... breakin' the law".

Sunday, the weather was crappy for driving and I was all hopped up after watching the Texans/Titans game (Woooo!) so I decided to stay another night. Monday I drove to the OKT, repacked and made it to the airport just in time to grab a seat on the last plane to Denver.

Tuesday we had lunch at a really good pizza place on Broadway. If I could remember the name I would recommend the spinach pizza. Weido and I met my good friend Scott at Wymans for a few drinks, where Scott hurt my feelings, no my soul, by saying that Good Times is better than Whataburger. I'm afraid Weido and I weren't good company as we were both easily distracted by ESPNs year in sports countdown and then running from TV to TV to determine what the hell the Astros were trading Willy Taveras, Taylor Buchholz, and Jason Hirsh for. Two pitchers from the Rockies, as it turns out. Boo. Then Weido took me to Good Times because I had never had one of their burgers, even though I had just been involved in a lengthy dispute about them. Whataburger is better. Good Times has awesome fries, though. But no one goes to Whataburger for fries! Either way, the rest of my time in Denver I had to listen to Weido tell me how awesome Scott is.

Then we met Travis back at the house to watch Talladega Nights because everytime I told someone that I hadn't seen it yet, they yelled, "You have to see it! You'll love it." Eh. Raquela, Rachel, and Erin met us and we went in search of my friends and found some of them at Cheers. No, not that Cheers- although almost everyone knew my name. Our group immediately commandeered all the gaming tables- I spent most of the night throwing darts, but took a break to let someone else win and played pool with the kitchen guys. Travis made a new friend in some crackhead that spontaneously yelled "WAAAAH!" at the beginning and end of every sentence and my sweet rear end made a new friend that followed me around buying me drinks. He was annoying and at one point I think someone told him Weido was my boyfriend so he would quit slappin' my ass. Goodbye free drinks.

On the way home we stopped to get doughnuts for the girls and found the greatest breakfast burrito EVER. EVER. I want to go to Denver right now to get one. Then we watched Talladega nights again. Ha! (it's funny when you've been drinking).

I didn't do much on Weds because what good is a vacation if you don't actually take some time to relax. We (and by we I mean Travie and Kenny G) did get a futon for Weido ("That's pure comfort right there") and I picked up a pizza and watched Talladega Nights with Kenny G. The kids in that movie are phenomenal.

Thursday, Travie was kind enough to wake up at 5:30 to drive me to the airport before his class and I finally made it to the OKT just before 4pm after a two hour divert to Austin due to fog in Houston. Laundry, repack, back to the airport. I'm in Chattanooga now. Some day I will spend more than 12 hours in the OKT. And thanks again to Travie and Mark for taxiing me around all week and to Scott for meeting us and for the drinks! (my tab was pretty cheap, so I'm assuming you paid for some)

I haven't peed since Grand Rapids

Bad day... bad day. There are very strict regulations flying into Washington Dc (and out) and apparently it's been too long since the vast majority has been petrified into submitting to FAA and they think they are under the impression that because they are white and own a suit that they are above Federal Law and can do what they please.

Not on my boat.

I do not care who you are. What color/religion/whattheshitever you are. If you stand up and approach the flight deck after you have been told 8 times not to... haha... you will be reminded that interfering with crew member's instructions is a federal violation.

It's the nation's capital. Do NOT test me. I am hostile. And PMSing. And go ahead and dismount before complaining to a gate agent at DCA that you were not allowed to potty because they will recite the same FAA guideline I memorized. FEDERAL LAWS are FEDERAL LAWS. Piss when the seatbelt sign is off, or meet Washington DC's finest. I'm sorry that you make poor decisions. But it's law, and you knew that would be the case before we shut the door.

The joys of becoming a line holder

Tomorrow morning I am deadheading (getting paid to fly as a passenger) to Leon/Guanajuato, Mexico. We arrive at noon and stay for 18 hours- It's like crew scheduling is saying, "Hey, sorry about those five months you were on reserve. And all those times we made you sit ARC. Or made you fly to CLE and EWR to sit hotel reserve. Oh, and all those Monterrey turns. Haha. Oh, oh, oh and those 3:30am wake up calls to 'advise you' of a 5:30 show time for a Monterrey turn with a EWR flowthru to sit arc for 8 hours! It's a 14.45 hour duty day, so it's legal. Those really are our favorites. Anyhoo, sorry about all that. Here, have a nice relaxing deadhead and 18 hours to play in Mexico. Oh, and it's only a two day trip, so there's plenty of room in your suitcase to stock up on cheap booze, cigarettes, jewelry, etc (xmas shopping)."

Which is really nice of them because GODDAMN did they treat me like a ping pong ball in a wind tunnel! It actually got worse the closer I was to getting off of reserve. Now, I am freee! And they're sending me on a mini-vaca to Mexico to make up for it.

Note to self:

Just because it's 90 degrees in Houston, does not mean it's not 30 degrees colder and raining in the rest of the world. Pack some long sleeved shirts. And buy some real shoes.

Also, contrary to popular belief, Cleveland in fact does not rock.

We're an on-time operation

Ha! At the end of your pairing is a letter that indicates how many revisions have been made to your schedule. I'm on L. L! This seriously is the pairing that NEVER ENDS.
I was scheduled to deadhead back to Houston and go to days off (three!) tonite when I returned from Lexington at 6pm. Well, LEX was delayed about an hour, but still had plenty of time before my deadhead... and Crew Scheduling (I think their motto is "We're not happy unless you're not happy") figured that out and assigned me an overnite in Kansas City departing at 8:40pm. And moved my days off. OK... I still get three days off, I guess that's not so bad.
Except it is now 9pm (Eastern) and we're still sitting here. If we depart at our new scheduled 10:05, we'll get to MCI well after midnite (Central), which won't be that bad because I've been on Eastern for the past five days. And it's not that bad of a show time- 9:55- I'm usually blessed with show times at least 3 hours prior to that. So, I guess it's not that bad. I'm just tired of sitting at the airport wasting time.
The past five days have been like that... obviously... or I would still be on A. L! Luckily tomorrow makes day six and they legally cannot use me anymore. I just want to go to the damned eye doctor because I need new contacs and my glasses give me a head ache. That's all I want. Oh, and I need new shoes. These are worn thin.
I can't wait to get off of reserve so they can stop just randomly assigning me things that make absolutly no sense.

Is that necessary?

Tomorrow nite I will be in Agauscalientes, Mexico at the Fiesta Americana Hotel. When I actually get a chance to see my schedule more than 2 hours before it starts, I like to go to the hotel's website to see what it's like and what they offer (free breakfast, fitness center, internet, etc). The rates start at $109 per nite, so you know it's going to crazy nice. Check out some of the ridiculous ammenities:

1. Pharmacy/Souvenir shop. Your one stop shop for vicodin and festive pinata to stuff them into...?

2. 24 Hour Hair Dresser. Of course, after a few purchases from the pharmacy, I might find this less odd.

3. Cell Phone Rental. Could be useful for drunk dialing...

4. Wedding Services. I will try my best to come back to Houston without investigating this one. But... I make no promises.

5. On site on call Doctor. For after I OD on my souvenirs.

The best part... next door.... there is a BULL RING! Maybe I'll marry a matador...