STD (Shit To Do) * Not in chronological order*

The boring list:

• Find dress for Saturday's wedding (Weds or Friday)
  
• Do not accumulate any more bruises, scratches, or boo-boos (and hope current ones fade) before wedding on Saturday
• Hair cut/trim. (Weds? Early Thurs?)
• Eye brows waxed (Weds? Early Thurs?)
  
• Meeting with nice lady (Weds 11:15am)
  
• Do not go to jail (Ever)
  
• Community service (No idea)
• Buy replacement cords for all the ones Auggie has used as chew toys
  
• Get rid of this cold. Do I need antibiotics?
• Update Auggie's blog (Coffee time?)
  
• Rabies vaccination for Auggles so she can stay in the best pet hotel EVER while I'm at the wedding because everyone I know will be at the wedding and can't petsit. (Weds 2:45)
• Give Otis a bath and vacuum.
  
• Take Otis to shop and figure out why driver's side blinker will light up, but not blink and fix brake light. (I already tried replacing bulbs, it's a bigger problem than that.)
• Also replace (glue) the rear view mirror than fell off of the windshield and scared the shit out of me.
  
• Get Otis inspected.
  

The exciting list:

• Pick up Wedding Date/World's Best Brother from airport (Thursday, noon o'clock)
• Dinner, drinks, and live music with parentals and WBB (Thursday evening/night)
  
• Watch Jacey get a pedicure or dinner or drinks or coffee or something (Weds evening)
• Drinks with friend who will not be named because they don't comment on my blog (Later Weds night)
• Kindly remind Scott to email me more than three pictures so I can blog about trip to Vegas.
  
• Hopefully meet up with Rhondy if she's in town (Friday)
• Spend lots of quality time with WWB and friends (Thurs-Mon)
• Ben & Tiffani's wedding! (Saturday)
• Get ready for Robin's Spring Break in Seattle!!
• Find a new book to read because I FINALLY finished one today.
• Come up with more exciting blog content
  

What I Like About You (Just like Rhondy's post, but with pictures!)

In keeping with my recent theme of ripping off everything Rhondy posts on her blog, I'm doing my own 'What I like about you' blog. In an attempt to be diplomatic, I'm just going to use the top few friends on that archaic social networking site called myspace. Apparently, it still exists! I'm also going to rip off Rhondy's foundation of a short intro and then a favorite memory.



Rhondy

Rhondy is my favorite. She's my BFFFFFF... FFFFF. She only has two faults: that she lives too far away from me and that she doesn't have a damn cell phone so I can't call or text her whenever I want. I love that she agrees to drive from Austin to Katy so we can drive to El Campo to see a band she's never actually heard, only heard about from me. That's just the kind of person she is. Although we have shared some pretty crazy adventures, she's usually the voice of reason when my Hurricane Law instinct starts urging me to do something really ridiculous like stealing a school bus or the really crazy shit I wanted to do when I was younger and wilder that probably is best not to mention. She's always been there when I've needed her (which is often), I still can't express what it meant to me when she dropped everything to drive to GranFreakingBury, Texas to accompany me to my Ewic's funeral.

Favorite Memory:
This is really hard because we've been friends for so many years. So, instead of just picking one, I'm going to list a bunch of inside jokes that will only make sense to us. "Get on my wavelength!" (jump), "Dirt. It was in a bag.", "Duff is homeless", Memorial City Hospitals are following the Wal-Mart rule, "Look, it's Brooks and Dunn", Hikin' Rhondy and the Flying Sellout Tortilla Sisters.... this could go on forever so I'll stop there. Just know that we are funnier and smarter than you.

Travis
Travis is my favorite brother. He has three faults: he lives too far away from me, he doesn't call me as often as he should, and he doesn't read my blog. So, someone will have to tell him about all the nice things I write about him. Other than that he's pretty much perfect. If you're lucky enough to know him you know that he is the smartest, funniest, good lookin'-iest, most generous, and most caring person you will probably ever meet in your life.

Favorite Memory:
Also hard because I've known him his whole life. I'm just going to go with the whole Hurricane Ike weekend, even though he passed up a free chance to stay a few extra days. Bastard. Also, the first night I came into Denver for his Graduation Weekend and he, Weido, Jake (who I also love, even though he's not on the list) and I were all in the Bronco singing (screaming) along to Roger Creager. I don't care how sappy this sounds, there's just something about singing lyrics like "Runnin' with your buddies who don't give a damn" and "Things look good around here" with three of your favorite people in the world. Memories like these are probably why I love Roger Creager so damn much. His songs remind me of my brubber.

Weido

Mark is my 'other brother'. He does all the 'guy stuff' I need help with since my brother lives a thousand miles away, like help me move and mow my lawn. He's probably wishing I would get a boyfriend so he would get let off the hook. Also, when I was managing a restaurant and was ridiculously short staffed, he came in and bartended for me on like a two hour notice. He's also HILARIOUS.

Favorite Memory:
I try to keep this blog as clean as possible, so it's hard to think of a Weido story to share... I already mentioned Ike and TW's Grad weekend (where he taught my grandmother how to play Flip Cup and relentlessly harassed a waiter to bring him Cambodian Breast Milk) so... I think I'll go with the time we went to the Midnite Rodeo and he wore my mom's headset the whole night, not connected to anything... but convinced people his dad owned the place and he was getting very important communications. Then had a dance-off with my brother. I thought we were going to get our asses kicked by some rednecks. OH! Or the time he convinced the band at Einsteins to let him get on stage and sing Hootie and the Blowfish.

Jacey
I've known Jacey since kindergarten. We're BBFs. I like to think that we played a pretty big part in each other's adolescence, especially the awkward Junior High years. Eek. Thankfully, we both survived and became the smart, funny, and all around awesome young ladies we are today. I know Rhondy already mentioned that Jacey is a ridiculous cook and host, but it should be repeated. When I was a nervous wreck counting the hours before my parent's surprise party, Jacey helped keep me in check.

Favorite Memory:
This might sound lame, but the day after RhoJo's party. We spent the whole day cooking, sipping (we were too hungover to go at it again full force), and talking. And looking at yearbooks. And picking on poor Dean, who didn't deserve any of it he was just outnumbered. I told you it might sound lame, but it wasn't. I promise.

Robin
Robin and I met because Rhondy was driving from Dallas to Katy during Allison and had Misty's phone, but failed to give me the number. (I love Rhondy, but when it comes to traveling and cell phones, she's retarded.) When the news showed me a firetruck floating on I45, I started to worry, so I stalked Misty's best friend Robin on the internet to IM her and ask her if she had Misty's number. She didn't. But, we've been IMing ever since. It's kind of sad, we even text each other to bug the other to get online... but, it's something I look forward to every day. And for the record, the picture I chose isn't an insult to Robin... I just know she doesn't like her face on the internet if it's not password protected. I have other pics I wanted to use, but thought I should ask her first.

Favorite Memory:
Geocaching was awesome. So was our trip to the zoo. And our bar hopping adventure to downtown Houston involving hottie in a tie, Robin jumping in the back of my truck while waiting for me to say goodbye to my new friend in the bar parking lot, Taco Cabana, and using a Port-a-Potty.


Andy

Andy and I also go way back to the Hutsell Hornet days of yore. He's nice, funny, and an amazing father to the most awesome two year old boy you've ever met. He's pretty good with the "Your Mom" jokes, but not as good as me. No one is, though. He's also pretty spontaneous, which is good if you want to try to keep up with me... it took little to no convincing for him to agree to stalk Roger Creager with me or to drive up to Denver to visit my favorite brother.

Favorite Memory:
Hmmmm... why are the memories so hard to narrow down? Last season's Astros home opener, chasing turkeys in Colorado and in Texas, BRAUMS!, treating a crowd of about five to every song about Texas we could find on karaoke night at a bar in Denver, staying up till the sun comes up drinking and laughing (on many occasions)

John Mack
The myth, the man, the legend. All you need to know about John Mack is that he rocks your face. (That's what she said) John Mack plays it by beer, or flask, whatever the case may be. Together, we have perfected the "Hug and Pour Maneuver" which involves one of us pouring the contents of a flask into the other's drink while appearing to onlookers that we're just sharing a hug. He also has a strange fascination with sausage biscuits...

Favorite Memory:
Mini Corn Dogs, many Astros games, X-Mas tree lighting, stalking (and naming) J-Dawg, Monday Night Football, talking about my blog...


Ok, that's it. Hope you liked it. If you didn't make the list, I'm sorry. Be nicer to me and maybe you'll make the next one. Which will be whenever Rhondy makes a new one. I just copy everything she does. That's just how I roll.

Things I learned (or made me laugh) from Ike in incomplete sentances

Weido gets an evacuation notice, not an eviction notice.

$7 Standing room only tickets = front row Crawford Box seats.

Brandon Moss was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Vests are lame.

Puma paws are fun.

Barta is not at weeble. He wobbles, and he does fall down.

Everyone loves Mo's. Except my flip flops.

If I HAVE to, I can support the weight of my drunk brother, but I will take embarrassing pictures of him passed the f..k out with his baby blanket on our parent's couch.

If the power goes out, car radios + iPod + Heights Dr.= dance party.

My parents are far more 'cool' than I could ever hope to be.

Pine trees are STRONG.

Chocolate chip cookies are the only thing anyone wants in an emergency situation. Ever. Period.

Do not climb on the boat.

Do not yell at passing cars; it may be a cop.

Mark Weido can throw a spiral in a hurricane.

There are three kinds of black labs.

Ike is Swedish.

I kick ass at random-ass sports trivia, but don't have the patience to learn the rules to play the game "Life".

Toothpaste is not on everyone's Hurricane Survival Checklist.

Milwaukee = Astros "home" game (?!?!?!?) = goodbye wild card.

Me + My brother will kick your ass in a candle-lit game of Taboo. I take that back, we'll kick your ass in any kind of lit game of taboo. Bitches.

Baby squirrels do not agree with milk. Hypothetically, of course.

Baby squirrels are suicidal.

KPD will not transport you to Harris Co if someone cries about driving downtown in post hurricane conditions.

"Paraphernalia" is the hardest word in the English language to pronounce.

It takes 7 ATMs and heavy guilt trips to gather enough cash to bail loved one out of jail in post hurricane conditions.

I love the term "Post Hurricane Conditions".

I still don't know what a volcano taco is.

Adventures in Doggie-Sitting

This started out as an email to Jacey... so, technically... it's a letter. :)

I am going to kill Roux! My parents left with another couple yesterday morning to go on an overnight trip to Fredericksburg that involves them stopping at every winery on the way there... and back. They even found a boutique hotel that's also a brewery to stay in last night. I gotta admit, I'm pretty impressed at their level of commitment.

The house phone rings at 5pm last night, and the conversation goes something like this:

Ring, ring.
Me: "Hello."
Goo: "Heeeeeeey, Lucy! Are you at home?"
Me: "Are you seri...."
Goo: "Oh! I called the home number! HAHAHahahahahhahahahah (and then it becomes muffled... then I hear her companions laughing hysterically with/at her.)"
Me: "Hello? Goo? Hell-loo? Goo!"
Dad: "hahah Hellllloooo! hahah Guess haha what haaa?"
Me, going out on a limb: "I don't know, does it have anything to do with alcohol?"
Car full of drunkies: "Hahahahha!"

So, they're probably all in jail. Anyway, Roux kept me up ALL night. Randomly barking at NOTHING. I finally moved out to the couch to try to sleep with her because I didn't want the bed stinking like doggie... and needless to say the couch just isn't big enough for a neurotic dog, an obese cat, and a cranky me. I think I got a grand total of 3 hours of sleep.

Also, the damn dog managed to escape the back yard TWICE yesterday. I've doggie-proofed the gates and fence so well that if the flea bag manages to escape again, I think she's earned the freedom.

Dear Rhonda,

Surprise!

Love,
Your Favorite Bartender ;)

People I've been meaning to call, but haven't.

• Robin
• Jesse
• Jay
• Brian
• Two Stevens
• Ogden
• Jacey
• Carol
• Jason
• Cheryl
• Scott (Sorry I didn't call on your bady)
• Sal

I'm sure there's more of you... sorry. :)

Denver

Why I hate Ground Hog Day (And you should, too).

I have come to dread Ground Hog Day for many reasons:

1. Worst Fake Holiday Ever. This is including Arbor Day.

2. I hear "I Got You Babe" about 60 times.

3. Andie McDowell won't fall in love with me

Wait. That wasn't me... Ok, let me start over.

1. Worst Fake Holiday Ever. This is including United Nations Day.

2. My mother ("Goo") sends out her family newsletter with glowing "year in review" paragraphs and adorable pictures of our family.

3. Except me. She finds the worst picture taken of me in a year and posts it. (You can click on the pictures to see them in their full-sized glory, not that you'd want to...)

In 2004 she uses a picture of me wearing hideous lipstick, an oily forehead, crunchy hair, and red eye.

In 2005, Goo selects a picture taken of me celebrating my escape from an insane asylum.

I get two pictures in 2006! One with the fam while wearing a child's shirt and baseball hat and one out of focus profile shot in which the margarita I'm holding seems to be the subject of the shot.

Last year... ok... I can't really complain too much about last year after seeing the picture she chose for TDub. In fact, it's such a long shot, you may have not even realized I was in the picture.

This year, I decided enough was enough. I asked Goo several days in advance to let me have final approval of the picture she selected of me for her annual newsletter. I mean, come on! I am pretty damn hot and fairly photogenic, why is it that she can NEVER find a decent picture of me?!? An hour before she forwarded the link to everyone she's ever met, it was sent to me for approval. DENIED!

She had a picture of me with wet gelled hair, red eye, and what can only be described as unevenness in the chest area. Of course, I am at work without my laptop that holds literally hundreds of pictures taken in the past year. We must resort to the pictures I have uploaded onto facebook. Of course there are no decent pictures of me solo and I'm not sure how my friends/boyfriend-type-person would feel about me submitting a picture with them in it (I like to ask for approval before posting pictures of people) so we settle for a decent pic of me with one of my favorite guys. It's not the best picture of me, but at least Roux isn't in the shot. (Click here to view her page if you haven't already seen it.)

So, readers of Goo's Ground Hog Day newsletter, I apologize for once again depriving you of a decent picture that accurately portrays my hotness. But, really, what can you expect from someone that sends out a family holiday newsletter on a fake holiday? Next year I will have professional portraits taken.

Thay-anks!

I really do have many things to be thankful for, some seem kind of trivial like coffee, Otis, and nice weather. Some more traditional like my job, my health, money. Some more important like my friends, my fam, and my fam-like friends. I don't want to name anyone for fear of forgetting someone, but I want you all to know that your friendship does mean alot to me and I love ya.

I don't get to see any of you often, but it makes me happy when you send a random text, email, or I talk to you on the phone. I haven't made any friends outside of work here in Dallas, don't get me wrong I love my work friends, but it's just not appropriate to mix the biz with the pleasure. I can't talk to them like I can talk to yall.

I'm not going to lie, I'm bummed that I'm not down in Rockport fishing, eating, and drinking with the majority of my family but as soon as I break myself away from the coffee I'm jumping in the shower and heading over to my uncle's house. And hopefully my friend is coming into town tomorrow (ahhh!) to hang out for the weekend. He says he is, but I know shit comes up and I hate to get too excited about it if it turns out he can't make it.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving... and bring me some damn mashed potatoes!
/sap

Does a Body Good

So, I popped into Kroger on the way home from work tonight and the expiration date on the "milk flavored water" (skim) that I bought is December 1.

Hoh. Lee. Shit!

I haven't even started shopping yet, and that's not a good thing. I always stress myself out about giving "good" gifts that it takes me months to decide on something. Except last year when I was flying 6 days a week and had no time... and this year is going to be kinda hard to shop for my brother because whatever I get him will have to be shipped because he's too important to come spend a weekend with his family. No, I'm not upset, why do you ask?

Speaking of family... I'm really starting to miss Houston. Probably because I just got off the phone with Jay Diddy and just got invited to a party I probably won't be able to attend by Jacey. I never thought I would want to move home so soon, I think it's been 4 years since I've lived in Katy/Houston...? I thought I'd want to go live more exotic places before throwing in the homesick towel. Although, technically one flight attendant year is equivalent to 7 indigenous years. So, there ya go. Wait. I'm thinking of dogs, aren't I? Regardless, it's gotta count for something. All the while I've been thinking about moving home, my parents are thinking about getting out of Dodge. WTF?

I still have a couple of months to decide where I'm going to go next, but now would be a good time start giving input. But, really... I'd love to go be an Astros groupie while I still have my looks... and at my age... the sooner the better. YaknowwhatImsayin?

Well, damn...!

David Temple was convicted of murder! Only took ten years. Wasn't sure that they'd actually convict him. Hmm.

In other news, as if I weren't already bummed that i wouldn't be in Rockport with most the fam, I just find out that Jug Band is in Corpus on Saturday and damn Cory Morrow will be at the same bar on Weds. I'm pulling an open to close on Weds, but hopefully will see Rhondy that night and then Kyle will be in town Friday. So, I've definitely got stuff to look forward to, but it's not the same as drinkin' with Gaki and Goo at a Jug Band show.

Speaking of bands I like that I won't be seeing live, my old friend Drew will be in Dallas this Saturday with one of his bands. I'd love to go, but don't want to do alone. Actually, I've got two "friends" I haven't asked yet, so it's not final.

Ok, shower time. Have a good day!

Leaving Houston

I've been to Houston/Katy twice in the past 30 days (give or take) and it gets harder to leave every time. I'm really sick of being so far away from my friends and family. Of course going to two of the best parties EVER a month apart is probably isn't fair and is escalating the feeling that my life in Dallas is boring and I've become obsessed with work to fill the void. I know it wouldn't be crazy parties surrounded by friends and family every weekend if I moved back, but it wouldn't be laundry and netflix alone every night either. I like my job, but I never thought it would be the most important thing in my life.

I'd rather be surrounded by friends with a mediocre job than bored with a decent one. Ok, maybe I'm being a tad dramatic, I guess I'm also not looking forward to spending Thanksgiving away from my family and then my brother not coming home for Christmas.

The Wedding!

More pictures!

I can't believe you peed in the parking lot of Good Times

Week in review:

Drove to Austin Saturday night to see my Rhondy! Rhondy and I got some alone time before meeting her friends for her Birthday party and had dinner at Champions where we sang along (loudly) to the Queen ringtone of the guy who didn't like to answer his phone at the next table. From our table, and without acknowledgement, we also joined their conversation about Buzzard Preservation. (We're Pro-Buzzard) This is before we started drinking.

Enter Sixth street, a magical land where pretty ladies are corralled into bars for free shots. The smoking ban doesn't bother me in Austin because you spend as much time outside deciding which bar you're going to next as you do actually in the bars. At least it doesn't bother me now, last summer when it was a hundred and ten degrees at midnight, it was unacceptable. A few of the bars seemed desperate enough to keep people in to buy another drink that they let us dirty degenerate smokers light up. Cue Iron Maiden. "Breakin' the law... breakin' the law".

Sunday, the weather was crappy for driving and I was all hopped up after watching the Texans/Titans game (Woooo!) so I decided to stay another night. Monday I drove to the OKT, repacked and made it to the airport just in time to grab a seat on the last plane to Denver.

Tuesday we had lunch at a really good pizza place on Broadway. If I could remember the name I would recommend the spinach pizza. Weido and I met my good friend Scott at Wymans for a few drinks, where Scott hurt my feelings, no my soul, by saying that Good Times is better than Whataburger. I'm afraid Weido and I weren't good company as we were both easily distracted by ESPNs year in sports countdown and then running from TV to TV to determine what the hell the Astros were trading Willy Taveras, Taylor Buchholz, and Jason Hirsh for. Two pitchers from the Rockies, as it turns out. Boo. Then Weido took me to Good Times because I had never had one of their burgers, even though I had just been involved in a lengthy dispute about them. Whataburger is better. Good Times has awesome fries, though. But no one goes to Whataburger for fries! Either way, the rest of my time in Denver I had to listen to Weido tell me how awesome Scott is.

Then we met Travis back at the house to watch Talladega Nights because everytime I told someone that I hadn't seen it yet, they yelled, "You have to see it! You'll love it." Eh. Raquela, Rachel, and Erin met us and we went in search of my friends and found some of them at Cheers. No, not that Cheers- although almost everyone knew my name. Our group immediately commandeered all the gaming tables- I spent most of the night throwing darts, but took a break to let someone else win and played pool with the kitchen guys. Travis made a new friend in some crackhead that spontaneously yelled "WAAAAH!" at the beginning and end of every sentence and my sweet rear end made a new friend that followed me around buying me drinks. He was annoying and at one point I think someone told him Weido was my boyfriend so he would quit slappin' my ass. Goodbye free drinks.

On the way home we stopped to get doughnuts for the girls and found the greatest breakfast burrito EVER. EVER. I want to go to Denver right now to get one. Then we watched Talladega nights again. Ha! (it's funny when you've been drinking).

I didn't do much on Weds because what good is a vacation if you don't actually take some time to relax. We (and by we I mean Travie and Kenny G) did get a futon for Weido ("That's pure comfort right there") and I picked up a pizza and watched Talladega Nights with Kenny G. The kids in that movie are phenomenal.

Thursday, Travie was kind enough to wake up at 5:30 to drive me to the airport before his class and I finally made it to the OKT just before 4pm after a two hour divert to Austin due to fog in Houston. Laundry, repack, back to the airport. I'm in Chattanooga now. Some day I will spend more than 12 hours in the OKT. And thanks again to Travie and Mark for taxiing me around all week and to Scott for meeting us and for the drinks! (my tab was pretty cheap, so I'm assuming you paid for some)

Pics from Mashed Potato Day and Rockport

(Click on photos to view larger)

1. Booze cruise with Lady, Zach, Lindsey, and Uncle Steve.
2. Dinner with the Duncans and Epps in Rockport
3. Surprise! It's my favorite brother!
4. Cousin Taylor and I prepare for Wishbone Throwdown '06
5. I lost.