Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Day I don't care, I just want to quit

Unfortunately, that was the theme for the day, some of us thought it... more of us actually had a breakdown and told the trainers they were "just going home". I've never seen that many old women and gay men cry since Brad Pitt got married. You may want to consider buying stock in Kleenex. We lost three today. Two failed their second test and one lady "just couldn't take it anymore" and burst into tears on the simulator and despite all our efforts to calm her frantic fat ass down she walked out of class. Trust me, this is a good thing for any of you that plan to fly, she was obese (we're talking old school Roseanne big. Star Jones big.) and I can't imagine that she could actually be anything but useless in an actual emergency. I would still like to know what possessed her to even apply to be a flight attendant as it clearly says you must be in good physical shape and must be height/weight proportionate. We talked four other trainees (FOUR!) off the ledge and convinced them not to give up... I don't now why- the more people that leave, the higher my seniority goes. I hate wasting time coaxing people back to sanity (or the general vicinity of...) F 'em- let 'em go. I want to cry and chainsmoke and do a shot of the strongest thing the nearest bartender will poor me for good looks and flattery (usually water), but I don't. I frickin' suck it up like a big girl and move on.

I, along with six others, will be retaking the exam at 6:30am. After class, I stayed with one of the trainers and she read the test to me and I answered EVERY question correctly without hesitation. She smacked me on the head with the test and said "YOU KNOW THIS! WHAT HAPPENED?" Beats the hell out of me. I only missed 16%. And I KNOW IT. I think I just psyched myself out. Today was hella stressful. At least I feel better knowing that just under half the class "failed" it as well. Study group in one hour by the pool. I've been appointed Study Leader. Damn Straight.

We did unplanned evacuations today as well. Which means we all climb onto the stuffy simulator with only one ventilation source way in the back and watch everyone try to escape from their jumpseat and remember the right script for the right situation while opening the right door/doors. Very overwhelming considering we were unable to actually practice anything but the dialogue. Then they throw you into the operation without even ever having sat in the jumpseat but once on day 2. You're freaking out cuz everyone is staring at you and you know it counts as an exam score. You get three shots at it. Shocker: I was the loudest one in class. I had to do it twice, because I drew water evac, but forgot to pantomime donning my life vest. I argued that I was a strong swimmer, but she wasn't buying it. Ehh... I would have floated up eventually.

Gaby and I might just order dinner to go and eat in the room so we don't have to witness anyone else freak out.


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